Words

Words can be kind, caring, supportive, encouraging, uplifting and loving. Words can also be destructive, hurtful, heartbeaking and diminishing. We need to be careful with how we talk to someone and how we talk to ourselves.

Sometimes, one can also struggle to find the right words when wanting to ask for help and this was the case with my own beautiful girl. All the above affected her, the words others would say to her - some hurtful and unkind and the way she spoke of herself in her own journals. Her journals revealed the pain she experienced and thoughts she grappled with as well as expressing how she saw herself and it definitely wasn't the way I and others saw her. Amberly struggled to voice things, she was diagnosed with Selective Mutisim which is an anxiety disorder that prevents someone being able to talk in certain situations. When Amberly need to share something really important it was via a letter. I wish for more letters because that would mean she is still here. If you struggle to find the words to verbalize, be it to a parent, a teacher, a psychologist then try writing a letter, it is better to have the words and an issue shared than stored inside you and festering. A problem shared is a problem halved! Being vulnerable and sharing how one truly feels and expresses what's going on in a counselling session or with a trusted adult only leads to the right help being given to you. This is what was so hard with our Amberly, she wasn't able to receive the right advice as we never knew what was going on in her mind..she only expressed that in her journals. It was when she saw a psychologist after leaving PCH that she found the courage to talk and she was so excited to tell me. She was even more impressed when the psychologist came back with sheets of information regarding what are Emotions and Feelings and chatted with her about this. This just shows that when we are vulnerable and honest, we can gain the information we are seeking.

The hardest regarding words are the ones we tell ourselves and especially when we are struggling they tend to be more negative and not the positive or supportive ones we'd offer a friend. We really need to talk to ourselves as our own best friend and tell the negative committe in our heads to leave us alone.

I was always brought up with "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all" This applies to not only the words we speak to others, but now I realize, how I talk to myself. The words we use when talk to ourselves will shape our day and how we feel about ourselves. This is where we need to Be Kind to our MIND!

Amberly found that writing songs was another outlet and words would flow onto a page. She also enjoyed reading poetry. I came across some of her poetry books and when things were dark for her, the poetry books also reflected that and the words in those books were very dark. Maybe for someone struggling they can connect and find release. Others were of a more supportive style of poetry and one I recently came across in particular stood out. I now wonder if she had read it. The book is called "The Things I didn't say in therapy" by Logan Duane. I'd like to leave you with this poem by Logan and I hope you take it all in. Please...choose words that are kind, helpful and loving even though it's not always easy.

"You have done nothing to warrant the pain that you're feeling. You did nothing to deserve what you've gone through. No matter how many times your brain tries to convince you that you don't belong here on this earth, it's wrong. Your life matters. Your happiness matters. You deserve to sit in a field of your favorite flowers and flip through the pages of a treasured book. You deserve to wake up in the morning and smile at the sun as it tenderly kisses your sleepy cheeks. No one gets to take away your joy. No one gets to take away your core values and beliefs. You are strong. You are brave. You're allowed to wear confidence on your shoulders like a badge of honor. You're allowed to take up space with your body and your words without feeling guilty. You're not a burden. You matter. You matter. You matter."

From the Things I didn't say in therapy by Logan Duane